I Now Avoid Narcissistic Friends. Here’s How.

I’ve spent most of my life living in the shadow—especially in my close friendships.

Throughout my young adult life, I gravitated toward close friends who were charming, magnetic and lots of fun to be with. And they were certainly happy to have me in their lives: I was a great listener—the kind of person everyone would go to for advice, to complain, or to talk about themselves. I would always listen patiently. I was a warm and loving shoulder to cry on, a dependable problem solver, a loyal, available, and agreeable companion. I had a good sense of style that my friends admired and often even copied. Who wouldn’t want to be my friend?

Of course, I had never learned to be a friend to myself.

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9 Things I Learned In My 60s That I Wish I’d Known In My 20s

You know those moments when you look back on certain things in your past and you can’t help but cringe? Sometimes, you may not even recognize the way you acted. Well, me too.

We’ve all been there. There’s no one on this planet who hasn’t felt at least a twinge of regret, embarrassment, guilt or shame (or any other of those “fun” emotions) about their past. But the irony is that the “regretful” things we say, do, don’t say, and don’t do allow us to know who we are, who we want to be, and learn what we really want in our lives.

When I look at my difficult experiences, both past and present, I see gifts, even if they’re not wrapped in particularly pretty wrapping paper.

With that, I want to share my list of the nine things I learned in my 60s that wish I had known in my 20s:

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